Daytime Soapies
by Evilstrawberry
Summary: Take a corny Soap Opera plot, kidnap the TP characters and mix it all together. You end up with something very...interesting. Staring Kel, Cleon, Joren, Briar, Tris, Dom and a bunch of others! Finished with epilogue added!
1. Chapter 1

**Daytime Soapies  
  
  
A/N: I really hope people read his because to be able to write this I had to watch shows like 'Young & The Restless' and 'Bold & the Beautiful' and shows like that, you know, daytime soapies. *Shudder* Sorry it's in script form; it's just how it came out. **

**  
Disclaimer: Hmmm...I own just about...nothing. Pity...**  
  
*theme song is played 'Every Body Dance Now', while pictures of the characters taking dramatic poses flash past*  
  
Disembodied voice: Last time on 'Daytime soapies' Cleon told Kel he was having and affair while Neal is still on the run.  Lalasa has admitted to Dom she is pregnant but whose baby is it? Briar is still looking for his long lost mother and Tris is in some sort of trouble, about to confined in Daja. What will happen to these and our other dramatic heroes on today's dramatic episode of 'Daytime Soapies'?  
  
In a dimly lit room, furnished with posh chairs and tables and candleholders Kel and Cleon face each other.  
Kel: You're...you're having an affair? But what about our love?  What about our plans? How could you do this? With who? *walks away and covers her face with hands*  
  
Cleon: *walking up behind her and placing hands on her shoulders* I'm sorry, but I can't tell you.  All I can tell you is that I did love you but, like a flower, it bloomed then died...  
  
Kel: *brushing him off and spinning around to face him* But I love you still! Why must this be?  
  
Cleon: It just must, and now I must make my dramatic exit. Good bye, forever. But know this if I could still love you I would but *dramatic pause* another has stolen my heart!*leaves*  
  
Kel: *to self* I will not accept that he has left me!  He has been tricked! Seduced! I will win him back and when I find the one who stole him *dramatic pause* she will pay!  
  
  


  
Cut to a room, Dam looks happy but Lalasa looks distressed. 

  
Dom: *happily* Where going to have a baby? This is great!!  
  
Lalasa: *looking at ground* Dom, listen...there's something I need to tell you.  
  
Dom: *walks up to her, lift her face & looks in her eyes* what is darling?   
  
Lalasa: Well, first I want you to know I love you and that I would never do anything   
to hurt you on purpose but *dramatic pause* the baby's not yours.  
  
Dom: *look of horror* But who else's could it possibly be?  
  
Lalasa: You know when I won all that money and went on a cruise  *turns to face camera with smile* thanks to 'Fizzy Fizz' drink. *Takes sip* Mmmmm...It's good! *turns back* well I met someone there and...one thing led to another. I'm sorry. You seem to be taking it very well.  
  
Dom: I'm not. I'm planing how to kill the...disgrace of a man that would do such a thing. Who is he?  
  
Lalasa:*looking scared* I can't tell you. You'll hurt him, but it shouldn't matter, We love each other and we can raise it as our own. OK?  
  
Dom: If that's what you want. 

Lalasa: *leaves*

Dom: *darkly* This man  better watch his back...*follows her*   
  
Cut to a beach, Daja and Tris are sitting on towels, Daja is listening intently. The beach is empty except for them.  

Daja: What's wrong Tris? You know you can tell me.  
  
Tris: Daja, you are a great friend. If I tell you, you must promise not to tell a sole. Do you promise? On our friendship?  
  
Daja: I promise.  
  
Tris: Well Daja, I *dramatic pause* ...  
  
  
Cut to Briar sitting on a chair with his head in his hands.

  
Rosethorn: *enters* Briar, what is wrong? Are you still worked up about not being able to find out who your real mother is? She did abandon you and I can't figure out why you would what to know who she is.   
  
Briar: I need to know. I can't tell you why but I do. *looks miserable*  
  
Rosethorn: Fine, I'll pull a few strings and see what I can find out. OK, will that make you stop moping?  
  
Briar: *fake smile*  
  
Rosethorn: *leaves*  
  
Briar: *to self* This is why. *Takes note out of pocket*  
It reads  
  
**Dear Son,  
  
I am your mother.   
I did not abandon you.   
I am in trouble.   
Please help me  
Bring Chocolate  
  
Signed  
Your Mother  
**  
Briar: I will find you, *dramatic pause* and when I do you will explain.  
  
Cut to a picture of Neal's dad. 

  
Neal's Dad: *Yelling to sky* WHERE ARE YOU SON?!  
  
  
Cut to Briar still sitting in his chair. An unknown  
person walks up She is very beautiful. 

 Unknown Person: Hi there, who are you? I'm Sandry.   
  
Briar: B..b..Briar *swoons*  
  
Sandry: What a silly name. I'll call you Bob.  
  
Briar: OK *swoons*  
  
Sandry: So what where you doing Bob?  
  
Briar: *swoons* Umm...Looking for my long lost mother.  
  
Sandry: *making face* How boring! *Brightly* You can rub sun screen on my back in stead.  
  
Briar: OK *swoons and picks up sun screen*  
  
Sandry: *sinister look Briar doesn't see*  
  
  
Disembodied Voice: Next time on 'Daytime Soapies' will Cleon and Kel every get back together?  And who is Cleon's new lover? What is Tris' problem, has Dom lost it in his rage over his cheating wife? Who is this beautiful stranger?  And Do you really care? Tune in next episode to find out!  
  
Cut to closing credits *theme song plays 'Every Body dance Now!!'*  
  
  
  
  
**A/N: *blinks* That was weird. Was it funny, should I do another episode? You're all dying to see who Cleon dumped Kel for aren't you?   
  
This is all happening in some weird place where the characters out of the Tamora Pierce books live in the  same street and it's not happening in any particular time frame. The characters that know each other in the books don't always know each other in this.   
Please press the little button down there and *dramatic pause* REVIEW!! Any ideas, criticism (constructive only), comments or anything are welcome. Some other characters will come in if I do more *cough: Joren: cough*  
  
IMPORTANT: I would like to thank my friend Beckie, because she used her computer and her time to help get this unloaded.  Lets all give her a round of applause!!!!!!******


	2. Chapter 2

**Daytime Soapies Chapter 2  
  
A/N: Look! Look what you people have done! Your reviews inflated my ego...*points to ego which is squashing several houses* I figured out that writing the first episode is easy, it's continuing that's hard...please read and review!!!  
**  
**Disclaimer: Hey! I think I actually own something!!!!! *stage hand walks up and whispers in ear* Oops, sorry I was wrong...  
  
**'Everybody dance now!' Plays, Pictures of characters smiling and waving flash buy.  
  
Disembodied voice: Welcome to another dramatic episode` of 'Daytime Soapies'! Last episode Tris was about to confess, while Kel has vowed to win Cleon back. Bob, formally Briar, has fallen for a stranger who seems to want to stop him looking for his mother. Neal is still on the run, and people are getting worried. And what's this about Dom wanting revenge? Stay tuned to find out!  
  
In a cafe there are large crowds, Bob/Briar is sitting across from Sandry.  
  
Briar: Sandry...you have a beautiful name. *Swoons*  
  
Sandry: I know. You don't, do you honey?  
  
Briar: No, not if you say I don't.  
  
Sandry: So what are we going to do today Bob?  
  
Briar: I think...I should be doing...something, something important...but I can't seem to remember. *thinking hard* Something to do with chocolate...  
  
Sandry: *looks slightly worried* Yes, you where umm...buying some for me! What could be more important then me? Lets got to the beach.  
  
Briar: You're right *swoons* OK, lets go!  
  
Dom: *walks over & sits down looking gloomy* Hi, Briar.  
  
Briar: *confused*  
  
Sandry: Who is Briar, only Bob and me are here.  
  
Dom: Bob? Who's Bob?  
  
Briar: I am.  
  
Dom: *to depressed to notice the weirdness* OK then. Do either of you know any males who are inclined to help women cheat on their lovers?  
  
Both: No.  
  
Dom: Oh, OK. *gets up and leaves*  
  
Both: *look confused*  
  
Briar: *swoons*  
  
  
  
Cut to Lalasa pacing in a elegant, dimly it room. A figure shrouded in shadow enters Lalasa: What took you so long?  
  
Figure: Is it true?  
  
Lalasa: What?  
  
Figure: The reason you called me here is to tell me the baby is really mine, *dramatic pause* is this true.  
  
Lalasa: Well...yes, but that's not why I called you here. It's because of *dramatic pause* Them. They are back, one has already entered the town and can feel that They are trying to ruin things all over again. I don't know what They are planing but...  
  
Figure: Have you told anyone?  
  
Lalasa: About Them? NO, no one would belie...  
  
Figure: *interrupting* About the baby idiot!  
  
Lalasa: Yes, I told Dom. But that's all.  
  
Figure: You get onto finding out which of Them has come, I have...business to attend to. *walks away*  
  
Lalasa: Which of Them could it be...?  
  
Cut to a police station, Neal's father is talking to an officer  
  
Neal's Dad: Are you sure you haven't heard anything? Positive?  
  
Officer: *tiredly* Yes Sir, we have not got any more information since you last came in which was *looking at watch* five minutes ago  
  
Neal's Dad: Oh...*walks out*  
  
Officer: *to person behind desk* It will be about five minutes before he comes back. Do not mention anything about the case to him, just repeat what I just said. OK? I need a drink.....  
  
Cut to Briar and Sandry on the beach Sandry: I just have to go to the bathroom. Back in a second *leaves*  
  
Briar: *vacant look* *person dressed all in orange walk up*  
  
Person: Greetings, I am the Person in Purple and...  
  
Briar: *interrupting* But you're in orange.  
  
PIP: So?  
  
Briar: Huh...  
  
PIP: ...And I am here to rescue you *slings him over shoulder*  
  
Briar: *struggling* But I have to wait for Sandry!  
  
PIP: She umm...said for me to take you.  
  
Briar: OK then. *carried to car, chucked in back and drove away*  
  
Cut to Tris and Daja Daja: Look will you tell me already? We've been sitting here for ages.  
  
Tris: I'll tell you, I just need a drink. I'll pop over the road and grab on, want anything?  
  
Daja: No  
  
Tris: 'K *walks towards road. Dose not see car coming around corner*  
  
Car: *slow motion* Beep! Beeeeeeeeeeep! Screech!  
  
Tris: *slow motion* *turns and sees car* Oh shit...  
  
Cut to Dom sitting at a cafe. Kel walks over Dom: Hi  
  
Kel: Hi, I heard about the baby. Congratulations!  
  
Dom: *fake happiness* Thanks! We're so excited! So how's Cleon?  
  
Kel: *Darkly* We broke up. He cheated on me. But I'll get him back  
  
Dom: Hey, did he happen to go away for a while on say...a cruise.... not so long ago?  
  
Kel: Why yes he did. *takes sip of can of 'Fizzy Fizz Drink'* Why do you ask?  
  
Dom: No reason, good luck in your Cleon hunting  
  
Kel: Thanks *leaves*  
  
Dom: I have some *dramatic pause* Cleon hunting to do my self...  
  
Disembodied voice: Next time on 'Daytime Soapies' We find out if Cleon really is the Father of Lalasa's baby. Who are Them? And what has Lalasa go to do with Them? Has Briar escaped from the clutches of evil or simply got caught by another evil? Is Tris going to be OK? Watch the next episode of 'Daytime Soapies' to find out!  
  
Closing Credits and theme song 'Every body dance now!'  
  
**A/N: Arrg! That was hard to write. I need some ideas people! Please press the little button down there and review! Thanks to the people who reviewed so far:  
  
Valencia22: My first review for this story!!!!! Thank you!**

**Sage of Darkness:I like your name, thanks for the review!**

**Lady Me: Thank you!!!! **

**Eclipsa Moonshadow: Thanks for the idea!! **

**The Dreaded Rainbow Man: Thank you! And Beckie says thanks too! **

**Cat: Their names look good together, I'm serious! Thanks!**

** Krizsta: Thank you! **

**LadyKnight: Thank you! I'm getting a clone of Cleon. Do you want one?**

**Lady Taigan of Conte A/J: Thanks! **

**Eccie87: Thank you! Maybe...**

**Keladry Of Queenscove: Thank you!  
  
I think I got a little carried away*looks up* I just meant to write the names, but oh well. I don't think this one was as funny as the last, please review!!!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Daytime Soapies Chapter 3  
  
A/N: Someone asked me to email them when I update so if anyone wants me to do that for them then umm...leave your email in the review and I will. *runs around screaming happily* I figured out how to update from my home computer!! (it wouldn't work before) Yeah!!! Please read and review.  
  
Disclaimer: *to tune of 'Oh my Darling.' I own nothing. I own nothing. I own nothing, nothing's mine. Tamora owns it all and her shoes are number nine  
  
I also don't own that song and I do not know what size shoes TP takes.  
**  
Theme songs plays (if you don't already know, it's 'Every Body Dance Now') while pictures of the characters doing dangerous dives into a swimming pool flash past  
  
Disembodied voice: Today on 'Daytime Soapies' we look into the muddle that is Lalasa's love life. Is Tris OK? And what about Briar? These and many more pressing questions might be answered in today's dramatic episode of 'Daytime Soapies'!  
  
Shows Dom walking into a room filled with people. Looking for Cleon  
  
Dom: *looking*  
  
Cleon: *sitting at back of room*  
  
Dom: *Sees him* Ah, Cleon. I would like to have a *dramatic pause* talk with you. Please step into the a back room with me for a moment.  
  
Cleon: OK *follows* *a figure walks out of the shadows & follows them*  
  
Dom: *darkly* Cleon, did you happen see Lalasa when you went on that cruise?  
  
Cleon: Um....yes, I think she had a cabin down the hall from me.  
  
Dom: So you admit it!  
  
Cleon: Admit what?  
  
Dom: *accusingly* Why else would you know where her cabin was, and this is why you dumped Kel! You are going down!  
  
Cleon: *backing away* What are you talking about?  
  
Figure: I think I can clear a few things up.  
  
Cleon & Dom: Who are you?  
  
Cut to a picture of Tris laying on the road and a car driving away and Daja running up  
  
Daja: TRIS! Tris can you here me? Tris? *yelling* Someone call and ambulance! And someone get me some 'Fizzy Fizz Drink' it's good! All this yelling is making me thirsty! *to Tris* Stay with me, you still have to tell me your big secret.  
  
Cut to Briar sitting in a dark room  
  
Briar: So where's Sandry?  
  
Person in Purple: *enters* Ah, you really believe that Sandry told us to bring you here How stupid!  
  
Briar: No! I need to be with Sandry!  
  
PIP: Don't be silly. Anyway, Sandry used to be one of us. Yes, she was the Person in Red. Of course a lot of the time she wasn't in the red. Aha Ha Ha!  
  
Briar: Don't talk of her that way!  
  
PIP: But it's true, and beside the point. We brought you here for one reason and one reason only. *threateningly* Give us the note!  
  
Cut to Kel crying in her bedroom  
  
Kel: *to self* Why? How could he cheat on me? I have to get him back. But how....*thinking* He left me...but I bet he thinks that if it doesn't work between him and that poo head he is seeing...he can fall back on me, *getting excited* so if I pretended to be interested in another man then...he'll get worried and come running back! *brightly* So all I have to do is find out who he is cheating with and scare her off somehow then find a gullible guy to pretend to be *dramatic pause* interested in! I am a genius...  
  
Cut to Lalasa in a shop. Talking to a shop assistant.  
  
Lalasa: So I need some maternity clothes.  
  
Shop Assistant: *fake sweetly* Congratulations! Well we have a wide range of clothes. Dresses, jumpers, shirts, pants, bras almost anything. May I ask when you are expecting?  
  
Lalasa: Umm...around three weeks time. So show me these clothes.  
  
Shop assistant: That's nice. Well here is our...*goes on about clothes*  
  
Lalasa: Oh I like that...yes...oh....OK...that's nice...*notices Sandry walking past window* Umm...yes I'll be back I just have to duck out for a second. *thinks* I'm sure I've seen her before...  
  
Sandry: *sees Lalasa and goes white*  
  
Lalasa: Excuse me but don't I know you?  
  
Sandry: No  
  
Lalasa: Yes I do...I just can't remember where...  
  
Cut to picture of Tris laying unconscious in a hospital bed.Zoom in on her.  
  
Disembodied voice: Next time on 'Daytime Soapies' will Lalasa relies who Sandry is? The Person in Purple wants Briar's note. Will he get it? Who is the Person in purple? Will Tris be OK and will she ever get to tell Daja her secret? Find out next time on 'Daytime Soapies'.  
  
Closing credits played to theme song.  
  
  
**  
A/N: They always seem to be talking in soapies...I love reviews so please click the little button down there and REVIEW!!!  
  
LadyKnight: Your cats like my story...OooK, Thanks**

**Cami of Queenscove: Joren is MINE!! Thank you! **

**Lady Me(Thanks for the review! **

**Lady Marie: Thank you for the ideas! *wines* making it go slowly is hard...**

**Valencia22: It's a time honoured tradition, we should always keep up traditions. Thank you!**

**Hawaiikel: Thank you for your review!**

**Manders: Thanks for the idea and review!**

**Amie: Thanks for the review!**

**Krizsta: Everyone loves a good old cliche, I know just where to put it..hehehe...thanks!**

**The Dreaded Rainbow Man: Thanks for the review!!!  
  
As you can see I like reviews, they are additive!! Bye! *leaves to dream of a world full of Joren, Legolas and reviews***


	4. Chapter 4

**Daytime Soapies Chapter 4  
  
A/N: *sigh* FF.N is playing up for me, I can't read any stories and it's just gone all weird. I think it's my web browser's fault. Oh well. I'm gonna fiddle around with my computer and try to fix it after I write this.  
  
Disclaimer: OK, so strictly speaking I don't own anything.  
**  
  
  
  
  
Theme song(`Everybody Dance now!) Plays while pictures of the characters eating spaghetti flash past.  
  
Random Voice: I am sorry to announce that `Disembodied Voice' has gone on strike  
  
Disembodied Voice: My lines I wont say, without more pay! My lines I wont say, without more pay!  
  
Random Voice: Yes….so I will be your voice for this show. *in halting voice* Tris is in hospital. Briar is with The Person in Purple. Lalasa is taking to Sandry. This and other stuff happens today….*as after thought*….ah….on 'Daytime Soapies.'?  
  
Cut to Lalasa an Sandry facing each other. Lalasa is trying to remember where she has seen Sandry before.  
  
Lalasa: *thinking hard* Where...where?  
  
Sandry: Umm….I might have seen you around town. I walk a lot. Well see ya.*try's to walk away*  
  
Lalasa: *grabs her arm* Hey! I know where! You are one of Them! You're the person who has been sent by Them to muck up everything! I have you now!  
  
Sandry: *innocently* I do not know what you are talking about.  
  
Lalasa: Don't play dumb with me missy!  
  
Sandry: *looks around desperately* I….I have to go bye some Fizzy Fizz Drink now.*breaks out of her hold and runs off*  
  
Lalasa: Hey come back! *try to follow but can't run (seeing as she is pregnant)* Dam!!!  
  
Cut to Cleon, Dom and the Figure shrouded in shadow. They are all looking at each other suspiciously.  
  
Cleon: Now just what is going ton here? First Dom drags me in here and then you *points to Figure* come in and now I'm confused!  
  
Dom: That's what I'd like to know!  
  
Figure: I know the baby is not your's Dom.  
  
Cleon and Dom: *gasp*  
  
Figure: and I know you think the father is Cleon.  
  
Cleon & Dom: *gasp*  
  
Figure: And I have come to explain it all to you because I know all! And I am really smart!  
  
Cleon & Dom: *gasp*  
  
Figure: And you two are bumbling idiots who can only gasp!  
  
Dom & Cleon: *gasp*  
  
Cleon: *looks confused*  
  
Dom: I resent that! But anyway, tell me! Who is the father!  
  
Figure: I will tell you all in good time.  
  
Cut to Tris laying in a hospital bed with machines that go beep and all those things that you see in hospitals.  
  
Tris: ....*in coma*  
  
Daja: *enters* Oh Tris! It's all my fault! I should have made you stay and tell me instead of getting a drink! Oh It's all my fault!!! *looks guilty*  
  
Tris:......  
  
Daja: The doctors say sometimes people can here in a coma so if you can here me I have to tell you something important.*takes deep breath* IonlywatedtoherewhatyoursecreatwasincaseIcould useitasblackmailagainstyoubecauseIloveBriarandIthinkhelikesyou. (Translation: I only wanted to here what your secret was in case I could use it as black mail against you because I love Briar and I think he likes you)  
  
Tris: ............  
  
Cut to Briar holding hand protectively over his pocket because the PIP want his note.  
  
Briar: You can't have it! NO!!!!!  
  
PIP: Fine, be a bum head.  
  
Briar: What.?  
  
PIP: Aww, come on please give me the note *puppy dog eyes*  
  
Cut to picture of Rosethorn talking to Lark  
  
Rosethorn: Oh Lark, Briar is missing!  
  
Lark: What?  
  
Rosethorn: I went out to look something up on the computers at the hospital and when I came back he was gone and it's been so long and I can't find him anywhere! It's horrible!  
  
Lark: I know, lets go ask people if they have seen him. I'll go this way *points* and you go that way *points* ad we'll meet at the Shang training centre in an hour OK?  
  
Rosethorn: OK, thank you. *walks away calling Briars name*  
  
One Hour Later  
  
Rosethorn: Did you find him?  
  
Lark: No did you?  
  
Rosethorn: Would I ask if.never mind.  
  
Shang: Hello, have you ladies come to train in the arts of Shang?  
  
Rosethorn & Lark: No  
  
Shang: Oh then you have come for advice  
  
Cut to Neal's dad sitting in a posh room looking sad.  
  
Neal's Dad: Where is my son?  
  
Neal: *enters* Dad.  
  
Neal's Dad: I can even here his voice.  
  
Neal: Dad, it's me. I'm back.  
  
Neal's Dad: *looks up* SON! *hugs him* Where have you been? Why did you come back? Why didn't you come back sooner? Did you bring me a present? Did ya, did ya?  
  
Neal: I can't tell you where I've been, but I went because I did something bad and I had to get away for a while. But now I'm back.  
  
Neal's Dad: Oh I have to tell everyone. I'll make you something to eat! *goes to kitchen*  
  
Neal: *to self* I came back because I did something even worse then the thing that made me leave and I have to own up...  
  
Disembodied voice: I'm back. Did you miss me? They raised my pay so I'll do my job. Ahem…Next time on `Daytime Soapies' Will Tris every wake up and did she hear Daja's heart felt confession? Is Briar's Note safe and will Rosethorn find him in time to stop it being taken off him. What is this mysterious person going to tell Dom? Will the evil Sandry be caught? The Shang is going to give Lark and Rosethorn advice. What is with the lack of Dramatic Pauses? Find out these and other pressing issues on the next episode of `Daytime Soapies'!  
  
Closing credits to theme song.  
  
**A/N: A question for you all: Should Cleon or should he not be the father of Lalasa's baby? I have two ways the story can go but I can't decide which one to use so tell me. Should Cleon be the father? Or should it be someone else (I'm not gonna tell you who...)  
  
*sigh* FF.N is just not working for me. Only things in the login-ed bit work. So I am very sorry to all the people I said I'd email when I update *looks ashamed*, I will next time! I promise!!! If anyone else wants to be emailed when I update then leave your address in the review.******


	5. Chapter 5

**Daytime Soapies Chapter 5  
  
A/N: Hi all! I'm doing all of this on a computer at the library `cause *growls* ff.n is still going weird for me...I think it has something to do with my web browser….oh well, I hope I e-mailed all the people I said I'd e- mail and sorry to those I didn't email last chapter. Please read and review!  
  
Disclaimer: *thoughtfully* If only owned all the things Tamora Pierce owns.  
**  
Theme song plays while pictures of the characters picking their belly- button fluff flash buy.  
  
Disembodied voice: Last time of `Daytime Soapies' Lark and Rosethorn are going to receive some advice off a Shang while Tris is still out of it. Neal has come home, what made him do this? What will Dom learn off the mysterious man, is Cleon the father of the baby(voting still open.) and can Briar keep his note from the evil clutches of the Person in Purple? Stay tuned to find out on today's dramatic episode of *dramatic pause* `Daytime Soapies'!  
  
In the hospital Tris is laying in her bed, still unconscious, Neal walks in  
  
Neal: Oh Tris…..this is horrible….  
  
Daja: *enters* Oh Neal! You're back!  
  
Neal: Yep.  
  
Daja: Cool, ah did your Dad tell you abut Tris?  
  
Neal: No, I was in the hospital for another reason and saw her name on the door and decided to pop i for a visit. What happened to her?  
  
Daja: She was hit by a car, just crossing the road and knocked down for no reason.*darkly* if I find out who the person was who did this they will pay.  
  
Neal: *worriedly* Umm…yes, ah I better be going...I...what day was she hit?  
  
Tris: Ah, two days ago.  
  
Neal: *face drained of any colour* Thanks, bye. *leaves very fast*  
  
Cut to Rosethorn and Lark standing in front of a Shang who is siting with his legs crossed a looks like he is mandating.  
  
Rosethorn: No we didn't come for advice.  
  
Lark: *interrupting, pulling Rosethorn back to whisper to her* Rosy, let the old man give his advice. He looks sort of lonely and maybe it's the only time he gets to have people listen to him.  
  
Rosethorn: Oh all right.but I severely doubt it, Shang tend to get listened to.*turning to the old Shang* so what's your advice?  
  
Shang: I have lots o advice. What's your problem?  
  
Lark: We have lost a boy, we need to find him.  
  
Shang: .......very good.....  
  
Rosethorn: What?! That is your advice? What a rip off, stupid old man!  
  
Shang: Really lady, do you think a Shang gets to be as old as me being stupid?  
  
Lark: *patiently* So what is your advice?  
  
Shang: The one who strives to achieve Shang dreams of the day they will be able to crack wood with their head. The one who is Shang could crack wood with their head, but goes out and buys a chain-saw.  
  
Rosethorn: *fuming* Why you stupid little man!!! I will rip you limb from limb!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Shang: What? Fine, go look where you can not here a thing yet it is never quiet. *to self* Shesh, I try to give advice but nooo.  
  
Lark: Thank you, lets go Rosy.  
  
Rosethorn: *sarcastically* That was sooo much help.  
  
Cut to Sandry sitting in a cave, you can here the sea in the back ground  
  
Sandry: Dam! I almost had the boy warped around my little finger but he somehow got away, and the lady recognised me. Now I'll have to go into hiding. Curse her! *dramatic pause* Curse her till the day she buys a hamburger.  
  
Cut to Cleon, Dom and the Figure.  
  
Cleon: Tell us!!!  
  
Dom: *pointedly* Like you don't know.  
  
Cleon: What, hey do you think I'm the father. That would mean I'd have had to...eww....with Lalasa...gross! I mean no offence but she's just not my type.  
  
Dom: Then why did you dump Kel?  
  
Cleon: Hold on...there was that week where I was continuously drunk...hmmm...uh person tell me I'm not the father?  
  
Figure: *smirk*  
  
Dom: Tell me or I'll do something really mean like put ice-cream in your bed! I will!  
  
Figure: *smirk*  
  
Cut to Briar and PIP  
  
PIP: That's it, you won't give me the note them I'll have to call in *dramatic pause* the boss. The Person in...dun dun duhh...Yellow! And his assistant the person in green! Ha, now you're gonna get it!  
  
Briar: *backing away* Look you can not have my note. What do you want it for anyway?  
  
PIP: None of your business *turns back, walks to phone and makes a quick phone call* yes...you are needed here...thank you mighty one...I like chicken...yes...good bye.*hang up* they will be here soon. Mwahahahahahahahahahah!  
  
Disembodied voice: Next time on `Daytime Soapies' what will happen? I'm lazy and I don't know. Watch to find out!  
  
Theme song and closing credits  
  
**A/N: I go back to school next week!! I acutely like going to school for some weird reason, I mean no one has said `Shut up, woman' to me for ages *laughs hysterically says `No, you shut up' to no one in particular and keeps laughing* Hehehe, sorry about that...anyway I hate the work but apart from that I can't wait to get back. Ideas are warmly received along with comments and anything else you want to write in a review. So please click the little button down there and review!!! And I still can't decide weather Cleon is or is not the dad.  
  
Eccie87: Hey, Cleon's not a jerk! Are you in KCN? Thanks for your review!**

**Lady Me: Eep! I think I might be addicted...Thanks for the review!**

**LadyKnight: I have to learn how to glomp...thanks for reviewing!**

** White- wolf: Reviews! Reviews I love reviews! Thank you for giving me one**

**Hyacinth: I fink I was drinking to much Milo... When my internet *sob* is fixed I'll have a look at your stories! Thanks for reviewing! **

**Please review everyone! Hmmm....that was a short chapter, bye!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Daytime Soapies  
  
Chapter 6  
  
A/N: Hey! This authors note has nothing to do with the story but yeah so...ALWAYS WHERE A HELMET!!!! If you have been told to or it says to then do! Always where one if you is on a bike, horse, anything that needs a helmet! Anyway...sorry, that was my bit of preaching so on with the story. Please read and review.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own nothing! Nothing I say!**  
  
Theme song plays while pictures of the characters doing handstands flash past.  
  
Disembodied Voice: Today on `Daytime Soapies' what will happen to Briar when the people in colour get to him? Will the smirking figure enlighten Cleon and Dom? Where is this mysterious place the Shang talks about and will Tris be OK? Neal is back, what is his big sin? Watch today's dramatic episode of `Daytime Soapies' to find out!  
  
Show Briar looking confused, standing in front of the PIP and a knock at the door can be heard.  
  
PIP: *triumphantly* That will be the Person In.dun dun duhh.Yellow! And his assistant the Person In Green! *goes to answer door*  
  
Person in Yellow: *enters sinisterly* Hello.Briar, I believe you have something we want. May we please have it?  
  
Briar: *getting a little bit scared and backing away* Never! You can not have my note.  
  
PIY(Person in Yellow): Fine I will have to take you in to...  
  
PIP:...Duh duh duh...  
  
PIY: ...The room!  
  
Person in Green: *Shocked* Your yellow-ship, is that really necessary?  
  
PIY: I believe so *walks to a door and goes in*  
  
PIG: OK kid, in you go. *grabs Briar and pushes him towards the door*  
  
Briar: Hey, the initials of your name spell PIG.I mean *thrashing about* Nooo! Please, I'll do anything just not the...  
  
PIP: ...dun dun duh...  
  
Briar: ...Room! *gets shoved in to room*  
  
PIG: *shuts door* Now we have to wait.  
  
PIP: So what exactly happens in the...dun dun duh...room?  
  
PIG: I don't know. I've only ever herd it. Listen.  
  
From Room: *drill noises* Noooooo Please! Arrrrrrrrrrggggg! No you can not have the note. Never!! *strange bouncing noise* Not...not the...*gurgle*  
  
PIP: *wince*  
  
From room: What? Give in? No, I will never give.*high pitched scream* *sound of an apple being eaten* You wouldn't do that! No one is that heartless! Noooooooooooooooooooooooo *takes breath* oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.*scream*  
  
PIP: Ouch, that one sounded painful.  
  
PIG: It goes on like this till they give in, want a coffee?  
  
PIP: Um yes, black please  
  
From Room: Never! Never, no not the orange juice! Oh yes, I would like a `Fizzy Fizz' Drink, mmmmm it's good! Thank you. What...you wouldn't, couldn't! Nooo, the Tellitubbies!!!  
  
PIP: *shudder*  
  
From Room: Please no.*the strange sounds go on for a while*  
  
PIY: *comes out of room* We have the note  
  
Briar: *comes out looking horrified and wearing a Kangaroo suit* *in high pitched hysterical voice* You can;t get away with this!  
  
PIY: *Evilly* Ah, but Briar. I already have! Mwahahahahahahahahah!  
  
PIP & PIG: AH...yes...Mwahahahahahahahahah!  
  
Briar: Huh?  
  
Cut to Figure smirking at Cleon And Dom.  
  
Dom: *pleading* Please tell me! I need to know!  
  
Cleon: Who are you anyway?  
  
Figure: Someone all you simpletons thought was dead. But that is not the point, I will tell you all you need to know if you both promise not to go near Keladry. Dom: Keladry as in Mindelan?  
  
Figure: Yes, she is mine and I don't need any competition  
  
Cleon: Ah, OK.  
  
Dom: SO who is the father?  
  
Figure: I can safely say it is not *dramatic pause*....  
  
Cut to Rosethorn and Lark sitting in the park, Trying to figure out what the Shang meant.  
  
Rosethorn: I have no clue  
  
Lark: I must mean something...  
  
Rosethorn: Or it could just be a crazy old man's rambling's, which will I believe I wonder?  
  
Lark: *tiredly* Rosy, we have to at lest try to figure it out.  
  
Both: *think think think*  
  
Cut to Neal sitting in a hospital waiting room, talking to himself.  
  
Neal: *to self* I didn't, no it was someone else.it must have been. I still have to find the one I *cough*. I have to tell the person it was me, but it couldn't be Tris. *sigh* I am in big trouble.  
  
Random Nurse: Hello, do you need help?  
  
Neal: *off handedly* No, your beautiful face is all the help I could wish for.  
  
Nurse: *blush, walks off*  
  
Neal: *to self* What am I doing *whacks himself in the head* I mean, what a corny line.  
  
Cut to Lalasa standing in an elegant room. Dom's Mum Enters. (A/N: I don't know who Dom's mum is so I`m just inventing one.)  
  
Lalasa: Hello, how are you?  
  
Dom's Mum: Ah Lalasa. I'm fine. But I have come to warn you. Lets cut to the point. *dramatic pause* Say away from my Dom, you are not right for each other.  
  
Lalasa: *Looks shocked*  
  
Disembodied Voice: What is Dom's Mum doing? Who is not the father and who is this figure, who says everyone thinks he is dead. Will Briar get his note back and what is Neal talking about? Find out next time on `Daytime Soapies'!  
  
Cut to closing credits, while theme song plays.  
  
**A/N: This story has no regular chapter length...oh well. Please review! As always comments, suggestions or anything will be greeted with hysterical laughter and great happiness!! Oh and I'm back at school (Yah!!!) so I'll probably get a chapter out every weekend.  
  
LadyKnight: Long or short all reviews are great, thank you!**

**Tiriana: Thank You! Insane is good!**

**Lady Me: I don't think he will be, I like him to much...hehehe sorry, thanks for reviewing!**

**Googlepuss: Oooh! Lots of ideas! Thank you muchly!**

**White-wolf: Yep it does, must get it fixed soon! Thank you!!**

**Eccie87: I like him for himself but not with Kel, thank you for reviewing!!!**

**Keladry of Queenscove: Thank you! My ego is getting bigger!!**

**Hpcoldfire: *squeals happily* *feints with happiness* *wakes up again* Thank you-ness!!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Daytime Soapies  
Chapter 7  
  
A/N: *coughs into hand* A-hem, he he he well I know I haven't up dated in a looooooooooong time but my computer finally carked it...after a long time of not letting me go to certin sites and loosing my work it finally died, so I claim greiving as my excuse....do you forgive me? This has been siting in mycomputer for ages waiting for me to upload it. Sorry!Please read and review!  
  
Disclaimer: *grumble* No I refuse to say it! You can't make me! *sigh* OK, fine I don't own anything.  
**  
Theme song plays while pictures of the characters turning into werewolves flash past  
Disembodied Voice: Hello and welcome to today dramatic episode of `Daytime Soapies'! Today, what is Dom's Mum's problem? Will Tris ever wake up? Will Neal come clean about what he has done, whatever that happens to be. Will the smirking figure finally tell Dom and Cleon who the father is? The answers to these and many other questions will.might be answered on today's dramatic episode of *dramatic pause* `Daytime Soapies'!  
  
Show Dom and Cleon facing the figure, they are looking at him in anticipation of his next words.  
  
Figure: I can safely say the father is not...*dramatic pause* you, Dom.   
  
Dom: *blink* Umm....*blink* we already knew that I wasn't the father.   
  
Figure: *smirk* So?  
  
Dom: *shakes head* Well who is it?  
  
Cleon: Look man, I need to get back to work so hurry up, OK?  
  
Figure: *being slow to annoy them* And it's not....*dramatic pause* Briar.  
  
Dom: *grumbling* I never even suspected him.  
  
Figure: And it's not....*lists almost every male in the town except Cleon, Tobe and himself*  
  
Dom: So it could only be either of you two seeing as Tobe is what...nine? Ten at most. *threateningly* So which of you is it?  
  
Figure: *laughing* Fool, she was on a cruise. People from all over the world where on it. OK, here. *leans down and whispers in his ear* The father of Lalasa's baby is....  
Cut to a hospital room, Tris is still out of it, laying on the bed and Daja is siting next to her bed.  
  
Daja: When will you wake up? *in a complaining voice*It's getting really boring siting here all the timedoing nothing.  
  
Tris:.....  
  
Beeping machine Tris is connected to: *normal speed*Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. *suddenly going really fast* Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.  
  
Doctor: *running in* Quick nurse, I think she's going into Okopooked. We must try to administer Dertonifcation!  
  
Nurse: *rushing in* Yes doctor.  
  
Doctor and Nurse: *do weird things while Daja bights her finger nails*  
  
Daja: *biting fingernails*  
  
Doctor: She's stable, *dramatic pause* for now. But she has developed Gonikaplting. Her Domnopea will close and she wont be able to drink `Fizzy Fizz drink' (Mmmm it's good), every again if we don't give her a Yummnbuy injection.  
  
Daja: Well do it!  
  
Doctor: I would but *dramatic pause* her Frogetion is very unstable and if I don't get the dose of Yummnbuy exactly right it could be very bad!  
  
Daja: *pleadingly* Isn't there any other way?  
  
Doctor: *sadly, shaking his head* I'm afraid not. It's up to you to decide, do I give this girl the injection or not? No presure.  
  
Daja: *wringing her hands* I...I don't know.  
  
Doctor: You have an hour to think it over.  
  
Cut to Lalasa looking shocked and Dom's Mum being evil.  
  
Lalasa: *indignantly* Look, I respect your right as his mother, but we are in love and nothing you can do or say will change that!  
  
Dom's Mum: We'll see about that. I know things about him that you couldn't even imagine. And things about you I'm sure you don't want him to know.   
  
Lalasa: *walking away from her* Nothing could come between us, we don't care about petty things like what I'm sure you are thinking of.  
  
Dom's Mum: Well you wont mind if I tell him about your colourful friends, will you?  
  
Lalasa: *spinning to face her* You wouldn't!  
  
Dom's Mum: Try me little girl, or rather*looking at Lalasa's Belly* Not so little! *laughs*  
  
Cut to Kel looking at Neal. Neal is siting on a table in a cafe looking at thin air.  
  
Kel: *walks up to him* Hi there!  
  
Neal: Oh, hi.  
  
Kel: *sweetly* You don't look to happy to see me...  
  
Neal: Sorry, I was thinking...  
  
Kel: *leaning towards him, in purring voice* About what?  
  
Neal: Nothing, nothing...   
  
Kel: Why don't we go out tonight. To cheer you up.  
  
Neal: Umm...maybe some other time. *gets up and leaves*  
  
Kel: Dam! I'll have to go find Dom, how am I going to make Cleon jealous I can't get some one to go out with me?!  
  
Cut to Briar tied up. The people in colours have left.  
  
Briar: *mouth is gagged* Mumble mumble, mumble mumble!  
  
A lady: *walks in* Oh my poor boy! Let me help you! *unties him*  
  
Briar: Thank you, now I must go and get my note back.  
  
Lady: First, help me untie the others.  
  
Briar: Others?  
  
Lady: *points to other doors* Come on, lets go rescue them.  
  
Disembodied Voice: Next time on `Daytime Soapies' who rescued Briar? And who else is prisoner? Will Daja decide to tell the doctor to give Tris the injection and will Dom's Mum really do the unthinkable? And will he figure finally tell the truth? Watch next  
episode to find out!  
  
Cut to closing credits while theme song plays.  
  
**A/N: You read this even though I took so long? Awww, you is all sweeties! *looks at last sentence* That was weird even for me...please review!  
  
Thank you to...  
  
LadyKnight: Ahhhh! You almost melted Cleon!!! Noooooooo! Thanks for reviewing!**

**Valencia22: You might find out next episode...maybe. Thank you!**

**Lady Me: Shhh! Don't tell any body, thank you for reviewing!**

**White-wolf: *squeal* Thank you! I love it when people say nice things 'bout my stories!**

**Eccie87: Thank you!!! Cliffhangers, fun to write!**

**  
Hpcoldfire: I can't tell you...Mwahahaha! Only I know what's gonna happen, thank you for reviewing!**

**Lady Marie: *trying to do a superior look* That's for me to know and for you to...not know? Thanks for reviewing!   
  
I sound like a broken record...Please click the beautiful little button down there and review! And if you want me to email you when I update just leave your email in the review. And sorry again for taking so long. Bye!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Daytime Soapies Easter Special Chapter 8  
  
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, I really don't! So you can tell your mean, suit wearing solicitors to go away and leave me alone!!  
  
A/N: Happy Easter!!! *gives everyone an Easter egg* Chocolate and no school for two weeks!!!!  
**  
Theme song plays while pictures of the characters standing on their heads and trying to eat spaghetti flash past.  
  
Disembodied voice: I should get Easter leave like everyone else but nooooo, they wont me to work. *grumble grumble* Blah, Blah, Blah. All this stuff's happening, I should at least be getting paid overtime!!  
  
Cut to Tris' room in the hospital. The doctor is looking at Daja.  
  
Daja: What will I chose!!  
  
Doctor: You will have to decide quickly. I have to either give her the injection or not, it's a big decision. Choose wisely. No pressure of course.  
  
Daja: Hold on, why am I deciding? Shouldn't a family member decide or something?  
  
Doctor: *blink blink* Errr.Hurry and decide!!  
  
Daja: Ok, I decide that.Tris will have the injection!! *collapses onto chair*  
  
Doctor: Good, nurse prepare all we will need. We have to act quickly!!  
  
Doctor and Nurse: *run around doing weird things with big needles*  
  
Daja: I hope I made the right decision.  
  
Cut to Briar and Lady untying a man in a room.  
  
Briar: SO who are you and who is this person?  
  
Lady: This man is one of the most powerful mages in the world, Numair.  
  
Briar: Oh Ok.*pauses* Hey, how come he has magic when everyone else doesn't?  
  
Lady: *ignores question* Sir, are you awake?  
  
Numair: *mumbles in-coherently*  
  
Lady: *takes gag pout off his mouth*  
  
Numair: I'd like a coffee with cream and some chocolate cake please.  
  
Lady and Briar: What?  
  
Numair: Look, my request was simple. You are the servants aren't you? And I would like to lodge a complaint, this room is atrocious. I can't believe this is a five star hotel. Really, it could at least be clean!  
  
Lady: Umm, sir where do you think you are?  
  
Numair: At the `You can come peacefully or we can take you' Hotel, that's what the men who came to collect me said.  
  
Briar: Did it occur to you to question why you are tied up.  
  
Numair: No, I`m working on a very important magical problem at the moment. It takes up my whole head.  
  
Lady: Ahhhh, *scratches head* Ok, well could you please help us untie the people in the other rooms?  
  
Numair: OK, but it better be quick. Who are you anyway?  
  
Lady: It doesn't matter. Lets hurry.*all go off and untie other people*  
  
Cut to the face off between Lalasa and Dom's mum.  
  
Lalasa: Excuses me but I think you refer to my baby!  
  
Dom's Mum: Yes, and he told me he isn't the father, that was the straw that broke the donkey's back! I had to come around and stop this relationship!!  
  
Lalasa: *walking to door an opening it* I think you should leave.  
  
Dom's Mum: Fine but remember my threat, stay away from him or I'll tell him about your *dramatic pause* past. *sweeps out off room*  
  
Lalasa: The nerve.*looks nervously at belly*  
  
Cut to Figure about to tell Dom and Cleon who the father is.  
  
Figure: The father of Lalasa's Baby is.*dramatic pause* is...THE EASTER BUNNY!!  
  
Dom and Cleon: *gasp* Really?  
  
Figure: No, not really. You two are so gullible. The father is some guy named Liam from far away, *blink* he rides a kangaroo an has six fingers.  
  
Dom: Oh, so there's really no chance of me catching his and bashing his brains in? But I can still get revenge. Do you have his address?  
  
Figure: *pulls piece of paper out of pocket* Here you go. Now remember your promise to stay away from Keladry!!  
  
Both: Yep *leave*  
  
Figure: Now to go claim my girl.  
  
Cut to Kel walking around looking for Dom, so she can make Cleon Jealous.  
  
Kel: Where is he? *sees Dom enter carrying a large package and goes up to his* hi!  
  
Dom: Hello, Kel.  
  
Kel: So what's in the parcel?  
  
Dom: N..nothing, it's not a stink bomb I'm going to post to the person who knocked up Lalasa, what ever gave you the idea?  
  
Kel: I don't know, so you want go out sometime?  
  
Dom: Ah no *talks like words are rehearsed* I am in a loving and caring and trusting relationship with Lalasa and she did not tell me to say this when asked.  
  
Kel: Oh, well then. Bye.  
  
Dom: Yeah, I have to go post my revenge.I mean my parcel. *walks out again*  
  
Kel: Now who am I going to use?  
  
Figure: *walks in without his cloak but with a cap, sun glasses on and a really big jacket reading `I am NOT one of the People in Colour'* Hi there.  
  
Kel: Hi.  
  
Figure: Hey as a matter of interest, no one still lives here who would remember an incident that happened say.ten years ago?  
  
Kel: *puzzled* No, only Rosethorn and Lark.  
  
Figure: Oh good, *takes off glasses, hat and jacket to reveal a beautiful face, pale skin, long blond hair and perfectly toned muscles* Hi, I'm Joren. Your Kel?  
  
Kel: Yes, pleased to meat you.  
  
Joren: Good, you should be. I don't like you but I feel attracted to you so do you want to get into a relationship where I'll treat you badly but I can't help it because I don't have any other way to express my feelings for you and you'll feel sorry for me and try to help me?  
  
Kel: Ah OK, lets go out. Somewhere like.The Dancing Dove, Cleon.Err I mean people go there all the time.  
  
Joren: God your weird, you should go off and be a lady, lets go!  
  
Cut to a to Lark and Rosethorn still thinking  
  
Rosethorn & Lark: *think think*  
  
Lark: Ok, the Shang said "look where you can not here a thing yet it is never quiet" What could it mean?  
  
Rosethorn: If I knew I would have told you by now! Hey what's that?  
  
Lark: I don't know..  
  
That: Hello!! I'm the EASTER BUNNY!!  
  
Lark: The EASTER BUNNY?! Really? *excited* I have a question? How do you deliver all the egg in time?  
  
EASTER BUNNY: I don't, other people do it for me. The Easter Bilby helps, and the Tooth fairy if she has time. But that's not the point. I have come to help you. More advice; Look where colours are flashing like a rainbow but evil is in them. *throws Easter eggs and hops off*  
  
Rosethorn: Fat lot of help he was! Now we're even more confused!!  
  
Lark: I got chocolate!!!  
  
Cut to Neal walking up and down out side the hospital.  
  
Neal *to self* I have to tell her. I have to own up.but I can't. Everyone will hate me.  
  
Mysterious voice: No they wont. No one will hate you, and even if they do it must be better then you hating your self!!  
  
Neal: Who are you? *turns around to face person* *gasp* You're the EASTER BUNNY!!!  
  
EASTER BUNNY: Yes, and you know what you must do.  
  
Neal: Yes! I will go and confess!! Thank you EASTER BUNNY!! How can I ever repay you?  
  
EASTER BUNNY: Thee is no need, although if you really want to you could end cash to this address. *hands over P.O. Box address* Farewell!! *bounces off throwing Easter eggs*  
  
Neal: *waving good bye* We love you EASTER BUNNY!!! Your almost as good as a `Fizzy Fizz Drink, mmmm.It' good! Bye!!!  
  
Disembodied Voice: Next time On Daytime soapies, has the EASTER BUNNY's advice helped any body and did Daja make the right decision? Will Joren find out Kel is using him? Find out next time of `Daytime Soapies"  
  
Theme song plays to closing credits.  
  
**A/N: Have a happy Easter! And if you don't celebrate Easter then have fun at what every you do celebrate, or just have a good day!! Please review!!  
  
Sage of Darkness: Thank you!!! Awww, that's so sweet...you called it crazy!! And when your watching TV it might fall on your head...  
  
Lady Marie: I finally told who the Mysterious figure is...*sigh*It was hard... Thank you!!*big smile*  
  
mashedpotato10: Thank you!!*takes cake and starts to dance around singing* I got a cake!! I got a cake!!  
  
Insane Kitten: *looks puzzled* You confused me by changing your name...Oh well.... I finally told who the father is! Bet you wern't expecting that were you? Thanks for reviewing  
  
Kaelin: *gasp* Don't be mean to Cleon... I ended up picking someone totally different, just to be weird. Thank you for reviewing!!!  
  
Lady Me: Thank you!!!!!!!  
  
Eve of Mirkwood: Thank you! Has someone been watching Neighbours, hmmm? I had to tell everyone....It was really hard!!!!  
  
White-wolf: I finally coughed it up, now everyone knows...I'll have to think of something else to make you all guess at and not tell you for ages...Thank you for reviewing!!  
  
Eccie87: You use computers in English class??? Thank you for reviewing!!!  
  
Karana: *sigh* I know....they are ooc, I try to make them as in character as I can. I didn't know that about Lalasa...maybe I can work it into the story somehow...Thankyou for reviewing!!!  
  
God Bye!! Happy Easter and Review!!!!!!!!!!******


	9. Chapter 9

**Day Time Soapies  
  
Chapter 9  
  
Disclaimer: *sob* It only just sank in.*sniff* I mean I know I've been saying it for ages but what I've been saying only just really got into my brain.*bursts into tears* I really don't own any of the characters!  
  
A/N: Hi! I am soooooo sorry this took so long to do!!! No more talking, on with story!  
**  
Theme song plays while pictures of the characters skinny dipping flash past *readers look away because they really did not need to see that*  
  
Disembodied voice: Hello and welcome to another chapter of *dramatic pause* Daytime soapies! Last time on the show Daja decided what would happen to Tris, did she make the right decision? Neal decided to confess, but what? Lark and Rosethorn were given some more advice but will it help them find Briar and who is this lady that helped Briar? All these questions and more might be answered on today's episode of Daytime soapies!!  
  
Cut to somewhere in some country. There is a house that the mail has just been delivered to. Liam walks out the do and picks up a package. He opens the note on the package.  
  
Liam: I wonder who this could be from? *reads note out loud* "Think it's funny to knock up other peoples girlfriends do you? Well I think this is funny." What in the world could that mean?  
  
Package: Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick...  
  
Liam: What the...?  
  
Package: Tick, tick, tick,*a green gas starts to come out of he package*  
  
Liam: Oh my...freaking hell. THAT STINKS!!!!! *smell sticks to him*  
  
Package: *looks smug*  
  
Liam: I'll smell like this for ages,but it could be worse. It could explode and shower me with goo that smells even worse and doesn't come off for years*looks scared* Oh shit.*drops package and starts running away*  
  
Package: Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep...*everything is suddenly shrouded in cloud of green goo*  
  
Cut to Neal standing in the police station. Receptionist: How can I help you?  
  
Neal: I need to talk to someone about some information I have about a recent crime.  
  
Receptions: Ah, Ok well please wait in this room here *leads Neal to a room* and I'll send someone in.  
  
Neal: Thanks.  
  
Receptionist: *leaves*  
  
Neal: How long will they be I wonder? *sits down on chair* It's taking a long time. How long does it take to end a person in to listen to information. *gets up and walks around the room* They're making me wait on purpose to freak me out. That's it! It's their sick mind games. Well it won't work on me! I'm going to stay calm and refined and I am not gonna loose it...*runs to door an bangs hands against it* WHAT'S TAKING YOU SO LONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Door: *opens*  
  
Person: *walks in* Hello, I'm officer Goldenlake, you can call me Raoul.  
  
Neal: *calming self and pretending nothing happened* Are you here to listen to my evidence?  
  
Raoul: Yes. So what is it? Hold on I'll put a recorder. OK what evidence do you want to give us.  
  
Neal: Well...  
  
Cut to Lalasa talking to Kel in front of a house. Lalasa: Hi Keladry! *Waves*  
  
Kel: Oh, Hi Lalasa! Oh my god!! Are you pregnant? I mean your not really showing much but I can just see a sort of bulge, unless of corse your just putting on weight.  
  
Lalasa: No I am pregnant!  
  
Kel: *indignantly* Why haven't you told me?  
  
Lalasa: I have told everyone but you have been sort of not around, someone told me you were off with a new ...*waggels eyebrows* friend.*grin*  
  
Kel: *blush* Well he's sort of a new boyfriend...sort of.  
  
Lalasa: Well who is he?!  
  
Kel: *looks over Lalasa's shoulder* Here he comes.  
  
Joren: *walks up beside Kel* Where the hell have you been? *looks at Lalasa* You look like shit. Have you been up all night? And you Mindelan, loose weight and act more lady like. *smirk*  
  
Kel: Well I've got to be off. Coming Joren? Bye Lalasa. *walks off*  
  
Joren: *to self* God, she's sexy.*yells out* Wait up woman! *catches up with Kel*  
  
Lalasa: Weirdos...  
  
Cut to Briar standing in a group of people he has just helped untie.  
  
Briar: So, who are these people and who are you?  
  
Lady: I was *dramatic pause* a friend of your mothers.  
  
Briar: You know who my mother is?  
  
Lady: What do you mean is? I thought she was dead!  
  
Briar: So did I! But then I got a note from her and she said I need to rescue her! And those bum heads in colours took the note!!!  
  
Lady: *looks horrified* No?! How could they? I'll help you find you mother, lets not even consider the fact that it could all be a hoax and go charging off to look for you mother!!!  
  
Briar: But who are these people?  
  
Lady: What? Oh, they're just innocent bystanders that the people in Colour kidnapped to cover your kidnapping. But the police haven't even noticed they are gone yet, slack.  
  
Numair: What about me?  
  
Lady: You're a powerful mage that is gonna help us find Briar's mum. Ok, lets go! *all run out door*  
  
Innocent bystanders: *look dazed and confused*  
  
Cut to Daja in the hospital waiting room Daja: I hope she's Ok.  
  
Nurse: *walk out to waiting room*  
  
Daja: Is Tris alright?  
  
Nurse: She is *dramatic pause* dead. I and really sorry.  
  
Daja: No, it can not be *breaks down into sobs* Briar will never *sob* like me if he finds out I got *sob* his crush killed.  
  
Nurse: Oh, hold on. Did you say Tris? *slaps forehead* Silly me, I thought you said Bliss, Tris is fine. She should be able to leave the hospital very soon.  
  
Daja: What? She's fine? *jumps around* Yeah!!! She's OK!!! *runs to window, yells out it* SHE'S GOING TO BE FINE!!!!!!  
  
Random person: Really? That's so amazing, but tell someone who cares.  
  
Daja: *running around hugging random people* She's OK, she's OK!!!  
  
Nurse: Doctor, I think we need a sedative here.  
  
Cut to Kel sitting in the Dancing Dove next to Joren who is glaring at everyone.  
  
Kel: *looking around for someone* Where is he?  
  
Joren: Who?  
  
Kel: No one...no one..*spots Cleon* Ah, Joren? You wouldn't perhaps want to shock me with an amazingly great kiss that I will try to resist but I wont be able to because you're such a good kisser, would you?  
  
Joren: As if I'd want to kiss you.*pulls her onto his lap and starts kissing her in a way you probably shouldn't kiss someone in public*  
  
Cleon: *sees them* Kel? *looks slightly jealous* Hang on, I broke up with her because I'm in love with someone else, why would I be jealous. Just 'cause we never kissed like that, *looks thoughtful* and just because he's, err...I mean she's, yes -she-Kel-She, just because Kel's so hot.  
  
Kel: *break away from Joren* Oh, hi Cleon. This is Joren  
  
Cleon: We've met.  
  
Kel: Yes, he's my new boyfriend. Are you jealous?  
  
Cleon: *avoiding answer* I have to go now. Bye! *runs out*  
  
Joren: I have to go too *gets up and walks away, talking to self* I have to go get rid of some more competition, next on list *dramatic pause* Dom.  
  
Cut to Lalasa and Dom talking Dom: Lalasa, *softly* I know who the father is, some one told me.  
  
Lalasa: Who?  
  
Dom: What, who's the father or who told me?  
  
Lalasa: Who told you?  
  
Dom: He didn't tell me who he was. Tall fellow, smirked a lot.  
  
Lalasa: *worried look, walks up and takes his hands* Who did he say the father was?  
  
Dom: You should know but I`ll tell you anyway *dramatic pause* LIAM!!  
  
Lalasa: *confused* Who?  
  
Dom: You know, Liam...from a long way away...  
  
Lalasa: Honey, sweetie, babe. Liam, who every he is, is not the father.The father is someone you would not know.*Has flash back*  
  
Air: *goes wavy*  
  
***** Figure(Who we all know as Joren): Is it true?  
  
Lalasa: What?  
  
Figure(A.k.a Joren): The reason you called me here is to tell me the baby is really mine, *dramatic pause* is this true.  
  
Lalasa: Well...yes, but that's not why I called you here. ******End flash back.  
  
Lalasa: The father is Joren!  
  
Dom: *gasp* NO!.....Who?  
  
Lalasa: *sigh* think I need a "Fizzy Fizz Drink".  
  
Cut to Lark and Rosethorn standing around looking lost Lark: Have you though of what it could mean yet?  
  
Rosethorn: No, if I had I would have told you!!!  
  
Lark: *offended* I was just asking...*eats a bit of chocolate*  
  
Disembodied voice: Next time on `Daytime Soapies' will Daja finally find out Tris' secrete? Are Rosethorn and Lark any closer to finding Briar? And what else will happen? To find out tune in next time for another episode of *dramatic pause* `Daytime Soapies'!!  
  
Theme song Plays to closing credits  
  
**A/N: Ha! You all thought Liam was really the father, didn't you?! Well *blush* so did I, till I re-read the whole story and realised that in the second chapter Lalasa said Joren, then known as The Figure, was the father. I had totally forgotten. Well please press that beautiful little button down there and review, if you do you deepest wish will come true *fingers crossed behind back* I promise!  
  
I have decide I will not say Thank you more than once this chapter so, Thank you! (That's twice?) Now I can't say it again...  
  
Sage of Darkness: Yep, Aussie! Garh! Soapies are addictive...and proboble bad for you health...  
  
Insane Kitten: Th...err...*blinnk*appreciation for you review?  
  
Lady Starhawk: *smirk* Ideas, ideas, ideas.  
  
White-wolf: Tha... *hands over mouth*.....no can't say it! Ummm, your review is happily recieved?  
  
Lady Me: Oooooh, long review! I thought the father was Liam...this story is even confusing me.... *grin* I like long reviews!!  
  
Well I'm gonna say it a thrid time (so much for one) Thank you!!! (*sigh* I love those words.)******


	10. Chapter 10

Daytime Soapies 

**Chapter 10**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything Tamora Pierce already claimed.**

**Authors Note: I know I should have updated sooner! *Looks ashamed* I was being lazy, reading when I should have been writing…. One Million apologies are heaped on top of your computers!!!! **

Theme song ('Everybody Dance Now') Plays while pictures of the characters eating grass flash past.

Disembodied Voice: I today's exciting episode of 'Daytime Soapies' will Tris finally reveal her secrete? Who did Cleon dump Kel for and is Kel's plan working? Will Briar and the Lady find Briars mother and will Lark and Rosethorn find Briar? Is it all a wild goose chase? When is Lalasa going to have her baby? Watch this episode to find out!

Cut to Tris in her hospital room, sitting up and looking around.

Tris: What happened?

Daja: *running into room* TRIS!!! You're all right!!! *Hugging Tris* I was so worried…. Do you want a 'Fizzy Fizz' drink? Mmmmm, it's good!  So*dramatic pause* what's your secrete?

Tris: *looking politely confused* Secrete? 

Daja: The one you were going to tell me before the accident. Remember? 

Tris: No, actually come to think of it. I don't remember anything…um…who are you?

Daja: *looks shocked* Your kidding right?

Tris: *shakes head*

Daja: You mean…. *looks angry* You mean that I waited around here and worried and fretted about you and what you secrete was and you can't even tell me?! *Yelling* What a great friend you are! You know what, I don't even what to talk to you ever again! Goodbye! *Stalks out door*

Tris: *weekly* Bye. 

Cut to Lark and Rosethorn sitting around still trying to figure out what the riddle mean.

Lark: I know lets just go around and ask people if they've seen him.

Rosethorn: But what about the advice?

Lark: Weren't you the one who didn't want the advice in the first place? And I just realised something, we are taking advice from and old man we have never met before and the Easter Bunny…anyway what would they know about Briar being missing? 

Rosethorn: *Wide-eyed* I bet…I bet they know where he is and they just didn't want to tell us!! Lets get them! 

Lark: *looing slightly worried* We only know where the Shang is.

Rosethorn: Lets get him then!! *Runs off*

Cut to A dark, dank room. There is a table in the middle and a group of people are sitting around it. They are The People In Colours.

Person in Yellow: *yelling* I call this meeting to order! Our first order of business is how our plan is going. Well?

Person In Purple: I got the note!!!

PIY: What?

PIP: *waving the note around* The note! The one you sent me to get off the boy that Sandry was interested in…the note?

PIY: Ahh…Purple, didn't you get the memo? I sent it down to you; we didn't need that note after all…

PIP: But you came and got it!

PIY: That was when I thought it was important, after I read it I realised we had got the wrong person and note…it's not important to the Plan at all.

PIP: Fine them! *Walks from room sulking*

PIY: Anyway, any other news?

PIG: *looking at table* Well so far we have managed to do really nothing…. since we lost Red we haven't been the same…But our new plan is going well! I have the place booked and the invitations are in the mail, the truth serum and anger serum are ready to be put in the drinks. 

PIY: *leaning back in chair* We might just pull it off. Our ultimate goal is not lost. We might still be able to *dramatic pause*Make everyone dislike each other very much!! Mwahahahahahahahahahahah!

PIG & PIP: *cough* Mwahahahahahahahahah!

Cut to Sandry standing around in a room looking worried. She is pacing back and forth and muttering to her self.

Sandry: I almost had him! If those stupid Colours hadn't got involved. I could have carried out their precious plan single-handed! Briar would have made those old ladies mean and they would have infected their other students and…hold on…. I think I'm forgetting something…. something from before I came here *thinks hard* Something about getting disciplined…*pushes away memories of before the author kidnapped them all from their old worlds* Oh well. I might have to rejoin the Colours, just to see that they don't stuff everything up…

Disembodied Voice: Next time on 'Daytime Soapies'! Who are these Colours and what is their plan? Sandry is going back to them and Tris has lost here memory! What are Cleon, Kel and everyone else doing because they weren't in this episode? Will this ever make sense? I doubt it! But to find out please tune in next time to *dramatic pause* 'Daytime Soapies'!

Closing credits play to theme song.

**A/N: *sigh* My conscience got to me, it told me I had to confess my wrongdoing. I told it I didn't really lie because I had my fingers crossed but it said it's still a lie. So I have to say…*takes deep breath* Reviewing doesn't actually make you wishes come true in an actual real sense of the word _true_. *Everyone gasps* I know, I know I am a very bad person, sorry! Will you forgive me enough to…*dramatic pause* Review?**

Conscience: *wacks Evilstrawberry over head with fridge* 

Me: What? I apologised. What do you mean you can't apologise and ask for reviews in the same sentence? *Glares at conscience* 

**Thank you to:**

**Eccie87:I'm confusing you? Yeah! Thanks for reviewing!**

**Alanna Rockwell: *smirk* My not-quite-subliminal- messaging has got to you!!! Mwahahahahahahahahah!**

**Lady Me: Hehehe…umm…about that wish…well you see… *looks embarrassed* I…well…sort of…. *points up to explanation* Sorry *blush* I don't think it is. Hey, maybe I should start selling Fizzy Fizz drink…hmmm…thanks for reviewing!**

**White-wolf2: THANK YOU!! *Tears in eyes* You missed it? I'm a horrible updater….**

**Nihtfyr: Maybe Legolas could make a guest appearance…ideas, ideas…. Thank you for reviewing!**

**Musical-Obsessee: You thought Joren was Legolas too…hmmm…maybe he is really Legolas and just hasn't old me yet *looks suspiciously at Joren*Thank you!!!!!!! **

**Firedragon12: I went and read you Truth or Dare: Tortall Style! Are you gonna update that soon? It's funny, thanks for reviewing!!**

**CrystalLili: *looks suspicious* I trust you are laughing _with_ the story not _at_ the story!  Only kidding, thanks for reviewing!!!**

**Casey Hook: *grin* Your review doesn't really count seeing as I forced you to read this and review, but thank you all the same!!!!**


	11. Chapter 11

Daytime Soapies 

**Chapter 11**

**Disclaimer: I own lots of books, two blue pens, an elastic band, a pair of jeans and some t-shirts and a cat. Anything else I happen to have or use is borrowed, including these characters.**

**A/N: Hi! I have decided that I will tell no more excuses for not updating and just say SORRY!!! Because the only real reason is that I go for months without writing anything, then in the space of a few days I write a whole bunch and use up all my writing energy.  So, yeah…that's all really. Please read and review!!!**

*'Everybody Dance Now' Plays while pictures of the characters sniffing Wiz Fizz up their noses flash past*

Disembodied Voice: Today one "Daytime Soapies" will the Colours evil plan be revealed? What is Sandry doing and where is Tris' memory? Will anything ever be explained? Stay reading to find out!

Show Tris in hospital with Niko and the Doctor standing around her.

Doctor: So Tris, you don't remember anything? Not even a little bit?

Tris: *shaking head* Nope.

Niko: You don't even remember me? Your teacher?

Tris: Nope.

Niko: *throwing hands in air* Well I give up, she is lost to us forever…

Doctor: Her memory will slowly come beck, all we have to do is give he…

Niko: *interrupting* I said, she is lost to us forever! OK?

Doctor: *hiding behind clipboard* Ok…

Cut to Alanna walking to her mailbox and taking out some letters.

Alanna: *looking at the letters* Junk mail, it's all I ever get! *Sees a fancy letter* what is this? *Opens letter and reads it out loud* To Alanna. You are invited to a very fancy party I, Bob Bob, am holding. It is a semi-formal occasion. There will be free food and drinks. Please come. Yours Sincerely, Bob Bob. P.S. Bob Bob is my real name and I am NOT the leader of an evil secrete organization. What ever gave you the idea? Shame on you for thinking such things….

Cut to The Dancing Dove. Dom is there, talking to Lalasa.

Lalasa: Only three weeks till we have a baby!!!

Dom: *Half-heartedly* Great!

Lalasa: You still not over the whole 'the Baby's not yours' thing are you?

Dom: I am really…

Lalasa: *standing up angrily* You're not! If you don't want to be with me anymore just leave. I'll raise the baby by my self!!

Dom: Lalasa sit down! *Pulling her to her seat* You know I don't want anything but to be with you!

Lalasa: Yeah right…

Dom: *frustrated* God, I need a drink. *Yelling* Waiter, one Fizzy Fizz drink thanks! Mmmmm, it's good. Look Lalasa, I'm just annoyed I can't talk to this Joren person. That's all, but I'll get over it. So lets just forget about it, OK?

Lalasa: Fine…*takes deep breath* So…are we going to the ball thing? You now, the one I got the invitation for?

Dom: *shrugging and sipping his Fizzy Fizz drink* Yeah I guess so. 

Cut to colours setting up a room with balloons and streamers and doing all those sort of preparations.

PIY: *hanging up streamers* Mwahahahahahahahahah!

All Other colours: Err…right…Mwaha…ha…ha.... ha….

Cut to Rosethorn and Lark and the Shang, Rosethorn is advancing on the Shang, about to attack him.

Rosethorn: You know where Briar is and your just not telling us!!!

Lark: Rosy, I don't think he does…

Rosethorn: *darkly* He does. I can see the evil in his eyes…

Shang: Would you like to go to the ball with me?

Rosethorn: *brightly* Ok.

Lark: *gaping* what? But…you…then he…. and your going….

Rosethorn: Are you going to the ball? I think everyone is!

Lark: Of corse I' going but what about Briar?

Rosethorn: Oh I'm sure he's going too.

Cut to Sandry reading the invitation

Sandry: Briar is sure to be at this ball, and when I find him I will get him! I will win! That way I wont have to rejoin the colours at all! *Runs away happily to find something to where*

Cut to Briar, the Lady and Numair

All: *look at invitations*

Briar: My mother is sure to be at this!

Numair: I know, I'll so a spell. If this rock *takes rock out of pocket* turns green it means you mother will be there and if it turns red it means she wont.  *Casts spell*

Rock: *turns yellow*

Lady: well, yellow is closer to green then red so she must be going to be there!

Briar: OK! Lest go!!!

Cut to Joren and Kel sitting in a room on the bed. 

Kel: We're going to this ball right?

Joren: No.

Kel: *stubbornly* Yes we are! If we don't I'm leaving!

Joren: *throwing hands in air* Fine! I don't care!

Kel: So were going?

Joren: Yeah, but I'm only going because I don't want anyone else to go with you. And you own me big time.

Kel: *grinning* Great! So lets get on to paying you back, huh?

Cut to all the colours sitting in their newly decorated hall.

PIY: It seems everyone has decided to turn up. They have all rsvp'ed. 

PIP: What everyone? Even with all the other stuff that's happening? Even the chick with no memory?

PIY: Yes everyone, it seems that the spell we put on the invitations has worked! Our evil plan is *dramatic pause* working!!! Mwahahahahahahahahah!

Everyone else: *muttering* Again? *Takes deep breath* Maw…ha…haha…*sigh*

Disembodied Voice: Next time on 'Daytime Soapies' Will Tris get her memory back? What is the colours evil plan and what will happen when everyone gets to the ball? Will it be the Final Confrontation? Tune in next time to *dramatic pause* Find Out!!!

Theme song plays to closing credits.

Authors Note: Has anyone else ever sniffed Wiz Fizz sherbet up your nose?  I did once, it burns…he he he it was funny but…. Anyway, I know exactly what is gonna happen in the next chapters (for once) all I have to do is write them…have you noticed that I just chucked what ever plot I had out the window? Well please review!!!!

Thanks to:

Keladry Of Queenscove: *spins in happy circles* Good reviews make me hypo!!! Thanks for reviewing!!!

Imperfectionist ;D: 6 reviews in a row?!?! Thank you!!! But what do you mean _your _Joren? He's MINE!!!!!! *Grabs Joren and runs away*

Ti-Ti: Thankyou!! I love making…err…I mean imagining them do those things…

Lady Me: I always sound like a nut case…what would be in Fizzy Fizz drink I wonder? *Ponders*

avision: *nods* everyone is out of character …*evil grin*it's got something to do with evil authors and mind control…Thank you for reviewing!!!

BloodyRayne: *bows* Confusing is GOOD! (It makes people think I might actually have a plot and they just missed it…) Thank you!!!

Guardian Demon: Shhhh, don't tell anyone their plan… even I didn't know till this episode…addictive is good…thank you!!!

Buy and please review!!!


	12. Chapter 12

Daytime Soapies 

**Chapter 12**

**Disclaimer: I am saving up to buy them, but at the moment I do not own any of the characters…**

**A/N: *Looks amazed* Updating in less than a month? Who am I and what have I done with the real me?**

*Theme song plays while pictures of the characters walking around in the dark crashing into things flash past*

Disembodied Voice:  Today on 'Daytime Soapies' why is everyone suddenly dropping everything they are doing and going to the ball? Will Tris reagin her memory and will Sandry finally win Briar? Briar is still searching for his mother and other stuff _was_ happening before they all got invitations to this ball. To find out please read today's episode of  *dramatic pause* Daytime Soapies!!!

Show picture of a decorated ballroom. All the People in colours are there.

PIY: Now all we have to do is wait for everyone to turn up and eat and drink and our plan will *dramatic pause* finally take action!

PIG: Look people are already turning up outside! *Points out window*

PIY: Ok, one last check…*ticking off on fingers* Food, music, seating, truth potion, I think that's all. Well. Open the doors Green and then run to our hiding position…lets get to it!

Cut to outside, People are milling around waiting for the doors to open.

Lalasa: Dom, *excitedly* Everyone's here! Everyone!! It's amazing; I didn't know all these people got an invitation!

Dom: Yeah, hey there's Cleon. Lets go talk to him *walks over to Cleon* Hey.

Cleon: Hey, you're here too! Mad, it's gonna be one hell of a party!!

Lalasa: Yep. And look, a bunch of people is wearing my clothes designs!

Cleon: *muttering to self* Yeah, and they look hideous…

Lalasa: What was that?

Cleon: Umm…the ones who aren't look piteous?

Lalasa: Oh…OK then…

Cut to Tris talking to Briar

Tris: Hi

Briar: Tris, you're out of hospital!! *Hugs her*

Tris: Umm…yeah, who are you?

Briar: Oh yeah you got amnesia! Well I'm your friend Briar and… *has idea*… and I always lean you things. Speaking of which, before the accident I lent you some money. I wouldn't ask for it back but I have to eat…so…

Tris: Ahh…OK. How much?

Briar: Twenty bucks should do… for a start.

Tris: *Gives him money* Hey they're opening the doors! Lets go!

Everyone: *run inside*

Cleon: Wow! Look at all the food!

Neal: Yeah, and all the Fizzy Fizz Drink, Mmmmm it's good!

Lalasa: Hey guys, look at all the famous people who came. The Lioness, King Jon…everyone! I have to go meet them! *Walks up to Alanna* Hello! My name is Lalasa and you are one of my heroes!

Alanna: Really? That makes me happy every time someone tells me that! I just like to think I make a difference…*takes sip of a drink*

Lalasa: Really?

Alanna: *strange look on face* No not really, I find you people very annoying. In fact I wish you'd all leave me alone!

Lalasa: *gasp* Fine then! Snob! *Walks off*

Alanna: What made me say that? I don't really think that…most of the time…

Cut to Numair and Niko talking to each other.

Niko: So, you're a great mage too, huh?

Numair: Yeah. The best…

Niko: Do you know who I am? Niko Goldeneye! _I _am thebest!

Numair: Nu-ah! I am! I know the king!

Niko: Yeah, well my student has whether magic and only I could see it at first and she helped win a war and was stuck in an earthquake and is only fourteen and she's already a full mage!

Numair: Yeah? Well mine has wild magic and she really pretty and we're _together_ and she can talk to animals and she once had the power to raise the dead and she was a vessel for a god and her dads a god and her mum was just made a god and she once got lots of skeletons to crush a castle and she can turn into animals and she can heal and she's just better then yours and didn't your one loose her memory anyway?

Niko: Yeah…well…you're a but head!

Cut to Alanna talking to Jon.

Alanna: I keep saying things I wouldn't normally…

Jon: Me too…*takes sip of drink* Like before I told Thyet I only married her for lust and that I was really in love with you still.

Alanna: Really? You're still in love with me?

Jon: Yep.

Alanna: *nods head* Well stay with Thyet because I love George and she's the best you are ever going to get…*takes sip of drink* You…you…*explodes* YOU TOOK THE BESY YEARS OF MY LIFE!!! I SHARED MY BED WITH YOU AND YOU REPAY ME BY…BY…by…*stops and looks shocked* I think I'll just go over here now…*walks away*

Cut to Kel, Joren and Cleon talking.

Kel: So Cleon, who are you here with?

Joren: *glare*

Cleon: No one.

Kel: What about that girl that you…you know…_left the party_ for?

Cleon: *looks confused* what the? Oh, Ummm…she sort of left me…said I was too fickle…who would have guessed? I see you've done well for you self…

Kel: Yep, this is my boyfriend Joren.

Cleon: Where have I heard that name before?

Joren: Nowhere. *Blink*

Cleon: Well Kel, he's certainly a good catch…  
  


Joren: *smirk*

Cleon: *takes sip of drink* I mean look at him, he's hot! He is really hot! I mean look at his eyes! They are so sexy and look at the muscle on him! And his hair! Gods, I am so jealous…. *stops and looks confused* Umm…I think I'll go get another drink now…

Joren: I knew my animal magnetism was great but it must be better than I thought…. *smirk*

Kel: *looks confused*

Cut to a shot from over head. You see everyone drinking and eating and dancing. Everyone is drinking a lot of the strange, new drink on offer….

Disembodied Voice: Next time on 'Daytime Soapies' what else will be revealed? What other secrets will the People In Colours learn and who else will be extremely embarrassed. *Takes sip of drink* You know, I don't even like this job!! Every one always like the characters and says how much they were funny or they love them or they hate them! But no one even mentions the Disembodied Voice! When was the last time anyone ever thought of me? I bet people don't even read what I say. They just skip over it! Would you skip over it if I were Joren or Dom speaking? WOULD YOU??? * Calms down & looks shocked* Umm…. where did that come from?

Theme song plays to closing credits

Authors Note: He he he…I think I said last chapter I knew what was gonna happen, well I was wrong…the story just sort of goes 'lets do this!' and I can't say no…this is just getting silly *shakes head* Oh well…everyone please review. Comments, constructive criticism and anything else you might happen to want to say please do! I only need 1 reviews to get to 100…not that I'm counting or anything… 

**Rowana Silvakisma: Thank you! *Jumps up and down* reviews make me happy!**

**VampiricEternity: I like you new name! Thank you!!**

**Imperfectionist ;D: No!!! Johny Depp is mine too!! As well as Joren and Draco and Gohan…I guess you can have Orlando Bloom…. Thank you!!!**

**Not a real person: You should know how to spell my name by now *shakes head* you watch neighbours? He he he…**

**MagickalStar135: Thank you! Your story is great! **

**Guardian Demon: Yep, they are TP characters, but the question is*dramatic pause* who? They should probably tell me soon…Thank you!**

**Lady Me: Hey…*thinks* that's true! I like those things that are a cross between a knife and a spoon…I don't know what they** **are called…Thank you!!******


	13. Chapter 13

Daytime Soapies 

**Chapter 13**

****

****

Disclaimer: I've said it again and again…I DO NOT own the characters AT ALL not even one little bit…though if Tammy would like to sell me Joren *looks around hopefully* 

**Authors Note: Hmmmm…another chapter in a comparatively short time…I wonder what sort of drugs have been put in my food…and where can I find more of them…**

Pictures of the characters cleaning windows with their hair flash past to the Theme song 'Everybody dance Now."

Disembodied Voice: Today on 'Daytime Soapies' all out hero's secrets are being revealed, but how? Will anyone ever be able to get back to normal life after this ball? Read to find out on today dramatic episode of *dramatic pause* 'Daytime Soapies'!

Show everyone in the ballroom. They are all talking but some people are looking extremely embarrassed and trying to avoid other people. 

Cleon: I don't know what came over me…I mush have gone temporally insane. *Walks around for a while* Well…. this is not as interesting as it could be. I wish I had someone to dance with…or even talk to. Talking to ones self cannot be healthy. 

Joren & Kel: *talking as they walk around aimlessly*

Joren: Lets ditch this party and get away from all these bozos!

Kel: We can't leave.

Joren: But-

Kel: Full stop and no returns. *Sees Cleon* Hey Cleon. What's up?

Cleon:  Oh nothing*takes sip of drink* I was just wondering how you ever got over our break up so quickly *claps hands over mouth*

Kel: What? I…. I…*takes sip of drink to calm self* I didn't! I looked around for someone to go out with to make you jealous!! Woops…

Joren: *darkly* We need to talk. *Leads way to quiet corner*

Kel: *nervous* Joren, I-

Joren: *glare* You where only going out with me to make Cleon jealous!

Kel: No!  Well *dramatic pause* yes, at first but now I know I really love you! *Takes his hands*

Joren: *hurt look, pulls hands away* I loved you, *tales sip of drink* I blackmailed and bribed people to stay away from you so you' d be all mine and this is what I get in return? I was finally being able to show my feelings and now I have gone back to my old, unfeeling self!

Kel: *hand on forehead in I'm-about-to-feint gesture* It's not like that! I do love you. Cleon is in the past!

Joren: But you where willing to pretend to go out with me to get him back! You must have thought you loved him, what if that is what happens to me. You love me till you find someone more interesting!

Kel: No, what I felt for Cleon was…. was not like this. It was more juvenile. I have grow up, I know I love you an always will! Please, *begging and grabbing the front of his shirt* please we can make this work…

Joren: I don't think we can. 

Kel: But…but…

Joren: Yes, I _do_ have a great butt and I'm sure you'll miss it but that just can't keep the relationship together.  *Storms off* 

 Cut to Jon and Thyet talking. 

Jon: Honey, I don't _really_ still love Alanna! Really I don't! I must have gone temporally insane or something…Please forgive me!!

Thyet: Can I have an expensive new dress and a whole box of Fizzy Fizz drinks if I do?

Jon: OK.

Thyet: *jumping into his arms* I forgive you!

Cut to Sandry walking around looking for Briar.

Sandry: *whispers under breath* Briar, Briar where are you?

Rosethorn: *walks up to Sandry* Hello, have you seen a boy. He'd be about fourteen or fifteen or something and so tall, black hair and almond shaped eyes…. sort of good looking. Plants like him.

Sandry: *lying through teeth* Never heard of him. *Takes sip of drink* I…. I…*trying to hold voice in* I…have been looking for him too! I do know him! I put him under a spell with my many charms and good looks and I had him in my control for a long time till he go away somehow*camps hands over mouth*

Rosethorn: Why you…. *picks up Sandry* I'll teach you! *Walks outside to garden and sees convenient well* this'll teach you to mess with me! *Hangs her by her toe in the well*

Sandry: *shrilly from down the well* You can't do this to me. I'm a _fa, _a _fa_!!!

Cut to picture of Lark standing around looking for Rosethorn.

Lark: Where can she be? I bet she's terrorising someone while my back is turned.

Joren: *is storming past*

Lark: *sees Joren* What? Stonemountain?! I thought you were dead!!!

Joren: *looks horrified* 

Cut to A picture of someone walking up the footpath to the place where the ball is being held. You see plants dying when he walks past. 

Disembodied Voice: Next time on 'Daytime Soapies.' What will happen? Who is the stranger walking on the footpath and will Joren and Kel ever get back together? Why did Joren not want to be recognised, is it to do with his past as a Person In Colour? Why is everyone acting so weird and what other dramatic things will happen on the dramatic episode of *dramatic pause* 'Daytime Soapies'!!!

Credits play to theme song.

Authors Note: I think this is the third last chapter. There will be one more chapter and then the epilogue thingy…I'm pretty sure*looks at notes* yep, as long as the story doesn't get it's own ideas…. *looks at chapter* My chapters are getting shorter and shorter…please read and review!!!  

Lady Me: I use them to eat kiwifruit…Mmmmm kiwifruit…. Thanks for reviewing! *Suddenly has idea* Joren and Cleon…Hmmmm. You just gave me an idea!

Dragonlass11: I think you offended the DV. *Disembodied voice yells*YOU SKIP OVER ME? I CURSE YOU WITH A SWARM OF LAMAS EATING YOU FINGER NAIL CLIPINGS FOR ALL ETERNITY!!!  *Evilstrawberry shoos DV away* Sorry about him…he can be a little over sensitive at times. Thank you for reviewing!!

Eve of mirkwood: *walks up and steals idea* what are you talking about, you didn't write an idea in your review and I didn't take it at all! *Tries to hide idea behind back* Thanks for reviewing!

Guardian Demon: *DV says in high-pitched voice* You like me? You really like me? *Breaks out into happy tears* *Evilstrawberry looks embarrassed* Over emotional…thanks for reviewing!!

Imperfectionist ;D: It's an Ok deal but I have a better one. I have a clone of Joren anyway so you can have the real Joren, I'll have Johnny Depp and you can have Draco and*pulls out of pocket* this clone of Johnny Depp! No one could refuse that! *DV runs up and says* You can have me too! *Cries* People actually like me!!! *Evilstrawberry wacks head into desk* 


	14. The End

Daytime Soapies 

**Chapter 14**

****

****

Disclaimer: Really, do I need to even write this? *Points to previous chapters* It's all there! 

*The theme song plays while pictures of the characters modelling undies and bras flash past*

Disembodied Voice: Welcome to another episode of *dramatic pause* 'Daytime Soapies'! Who is the person walking on the footpath and what will happen now Joren has been recognised?  What will happen to these and our many other heroes on today's show?

Show The People In Colours talking in a room that over looks the ball.

PIY: I think it's _time…_

PIG: Err…time for what?

PIY: To tell all the people down there what we have done!!

PIP: Really? Wont they get angry or something?

PIY: No! That's the beauty of this plan! They will all be to embarrass by what they have confessed that they wont have time to be angry!

PIG: *whispering to Purple* Is it just me or has Yellow finally lost it?

Cut to the ballroom. People are standing around talking but trying to avoid each other at the same time. Joren and Lark are standing in front of the door staring at each other, Lark has just recognised Joren.

Lark: So you're not dead huh? 

Joren: I err…don't know what you're talking about….

Lark: I would recognise you anywhere-*is cut off*

Door: *swings open with a bang cutting off Lark*

Person: *stands in Door*

Everyone: *gasp*

Person: *walks in* Hey All

All: *covers noses* you smell!

Person: I know, I was sent a little _surprise_ just a while ago; I came back here to find out who sent it to me.

Dom: *hides behind Cleon*

Alanna: *gasp* Liam? I thought you were *dramatic pause* dead!

Liam: No, after the accident with the magic and me growing and extra finger*holds up 6 fingered hand* I left to collect my thoughts. I moved far away, and spent my time reflecting on my time here and our relationship.  Then one day I received a package. It showered me with goo and now the goo and the smell wont come off. The return address led me to here. Who is Dom?

Alanna: *snore* Huh? *Wakes up* Oh, that's Dom *gestures behind Cleon*

Cleon: Hey Dom isn't that that guy that, knocked up Lalasa?

Dom: *scared* Well the funny thing is that The Figure lied to us. Some guy called Joren actually did it. Sorry about the goo thing, mate. Bit of a miss understanding…

Liam: *eye twitch*we will sort it out later.

Kel: *gasp* Joren, did he just say you are the father of Lalasa's baby? How could you? When? Why?  
  


Joren: It was before us.  We were on a cruise, working…it meant nothing! Anyway, aren't we fighting? 

Dom: _You_ are the father *tackles Joren*

Kel: You didn't tell me? *Attacks them both, scratching and cat fighting*

Liam: *taking her hands* Alanna, will you come back to me?

Alanna: *turning away from him* I am sorry but I'm married now.

Liam: So? *Shrugs* Dump the swine, Jon I presume?

Alanna: No, I decided to marry George…

George: *angry* you have no right to tell her to leave me! *Attacks Liam*

Liam, George, Dom, Kel and Joren: *all fighting*

Everyone else: *watches worried or placing bets*

Cleon: *to Alanna*Twenty nobles says Kel beats them all.

Alanna: You're on. Liam or George will win.

Cleon: Nah, they're _old_. 

Kel: *thinking* Why am I fighting like a lily footed court lady? *Fight properly and wins the fight, knocks out the others* There…

Cleon: Pay up.

Alanna: *grudgingly* Fine…but she must have cheated.

A Speaker On The Wall: Hello everyone. There will be an announcement in a short while. Please make you way to the front of the room. This is no all an evil plot. Thank you for your time.

Cleon: Did you here that? This isn't an evil plot. That's put my heart to rest! Lets go!

Everyone: *standing in front of stage and talking amongst selves*

PIP: Hello! I am The Person In Purple!

Briar: I know you!

Cleon: *mutters to self* But he's wearing orange.

PIP: Yes you do Briar. By the way, did you ever find your mother?

Briar: Umm…no?

Liam: Briar? Is that really you!_ I _am your mother!

Briar: No you not.

Liam: Oh yeah. Silly me.

PIP: Can we move on? Anyway, I am assuming that you have all noticed the strange out bursts you have all been making. You are doing that because…*dramatic pause* we made you! I would now like to welcome onto the stage the mastermind of the plan…The Person In Yellow! 

Everyone: *polite clapping*

PIY: Hello. Now for no apparent reason I am going to tell you my entire plan. But first I think all the people who helped pull this off should be up here. Please welcome all the People In Colours! *Colours walk out*

Everyone: *more polite clapping*

PIY: And just so no one feels left out I'd like to call up some Colours from our past who had to leave us for cretin reasons. Come one up Red and Black! Joren! Sandry! Where are you?

Joren: *reluctantly walks up* I hate you…

PIY: Thank you! Where is Sandry?

Lalasa: * High-pitched scream* Sandry…Sandry's dead! I found her body in the well!

Rosethorn: *looks slightly guilty*

Everyone Else: *blink*

Lalasa: Aren't you all going to scream or something?

Jon: No. NO one really liked her did they?

Lalasa: Oh…

PIY: Well moving on. OK, is everyone really embarrassed and all that? *Not waiting for answer* All of you seem to have been doing this all right, telling your secrets and stuff. But a couple of you haven't. So I'll just help you along a bit. First up is *looks at list* Neal.

Neal: *is dragged onto stage and force feed the drink* 

PIY: So Neal. What is your big secret that you ad to go to the police for?

Neal: *trying to hold voice in* I…I…*in one breath* I was coming beck from being away when I saw someone steal…lollies from a baby! I was rushing to inform the police when I…I hit…. *dramatic pause* Tris with my car! Oh, and I like to where women's undies. *Runs out of room screaming*

Everyone: *gasp* 

PIY: Thank you. Next up is Daja.

Daja: *pulled onto stage and forced to drink* I wont tell you anything! *To people* Why aren't you helping me?

PIY: *smirking* So, Daja. Who are you in love with? 

Daja: B…b…b…Briar! 

Briar: *gasp* Really? *Running to her* I have always loved you!

Daja: Really? *Running to him*

Both: *run out door together*

PIY: Well that wasn't supposed to happen…um…anyway, next is Alanna.

Alanna: *is dragged up on stage kicking and screaming and cutting off limbs* Noooooooooo-*is cut off because drink in being pored into her mouth*

PIY: So, do you have any secrets to tell us?

Alanna: N…. n…YES! I am really a *dramatic pause* MAN! My name is Thom. 

George: *to Jon and Liam* For some reason I think we should probably have noticed that she was a guy…

PIY: Well that's all I can think off at the moment so why don't we have a brea-

Kel: Wait! Give me some of that drink! I have to prove to Joren that I love him! *Drinks a lot of drink* Joren I *dramatic pause* love Chocolate and YOU!!

Joren: Really? Well I shall prove my love to you as well…*takes deep drink of drink* Kel, I love *dramatic pause* YOU! 

Cleon: I want to join in! *Takes drink* I love *dramatic pause* JOREN!!

Joren: Really?

Kel: Wow, hey lets all g live together and have a three-way marriage and do weird kinky things in bed.

Joren & Cleon: OK.

Joren, Cleon & Kel: *walk out*

PIY: Umm…this isn't working out as I had planed there's supposed to be more heart breaking and stuff like that.

Lark: It seems you have done more good then harm.

PIY: Really?

Lark: Yep, that won't stop us hurting you nut. *Takes step towards PIY along with everyone else*  

PIY: *realises how much danger is in* Oh…bugger…

Everyone: *storm the PIC's and force-feed them the drink*

Rosethorn: Now, who are you people?

Person In Green: I am…. *dramatic pause* Roger! Back from the dead! Ha ha! You wont take me alive! *Breaks free and does one person conga line*I am such a bad guy! I am such a bad guy!

Person In Purple: I wont tell you! I am definitely not a person you all know. How could you think I was Tobe? I am not Tobe!

Everyone: *gasp*

Lark: Well Yellow, who are you? 

Person In Yellow: I will never tell you! Mwahahahahahah! *Is fed more drink* OK fine. I am *dramatic pause*….

Disembodied Voice: Next time...hold on there will be no next time! This is the last episode! I can finally say what I think! This story sucks! It's so see through and everyone know what will happen and I really hate me job but now it's over and I'm FREE!!! *Runs away but falls into a bathtub of Fizzy Fizz Drink (Mmmmm, it's good.) and by doing so unintentionally agrees to never leave the story even though it's over. * Please kill me…

Closing credits play to theme song. 

**Authors Note: That is the LAST chapter. There _might_ be an epilogue one day to explain why they are all so out of character and all that stuff but it probably wont be for a _long_ time.  I really was going to reveal who Yellow was but you know…I'm evil. So I didn't. *Looks up* Wow this was a long chapter…six pages *is amazed*.  Well, it's long for me…. Umm…if you liked reading this then don't read any of my other stories because they aren't like this at all (Well most of then aren't…) But if you just want something to read please go check them out! **

**Thank you to everyone who ever read this!! I LOVE reviews and so therefore I love all of you!!! **

**THANK YOU ALL SOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!! **

***Throws flowers and chocolate and other great things to readers* **


	15. Epilogue The Loguys

Daytime Soapies 

**Epilogue; The Loguys**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters and I loosely based The Loguys on a real award show. And I don't own another things that might pop up. So, yeah…that's all really.  Read and review!!!**

Some dramatic music plays in the background and you see a small room. It is empty except for two voices coming out of nowhere. The Disembodied Voice and the Loguys Presenter.

Loguys Presenter: *in gravely voice* I can't present tonight, stuffed my voice up by yelling too much. We tried to get someone else but you where the only one available. Do this well and we might just have a look at annulling that everlasting contract you have with 'Daytime Soapies.'

Disembodied Voice:  Really? Sir you wont regret this! I promise, I'll do the best job every. *Mutters to self* and then I can finally get away from that blasted show. 

Loguys Presenter:  Good, good. Whatever. Just get out there and present The Loguys! 

Cut to a picture of a room full of people. They are all dressed up and sitting at tables. They all go quiet when a voice comes out of a speaker.

Disembodied Voice: Greetings and welcome to the years amazing Loguys! Tonight we will be presenting a whole bunch of awards, wont that be fun? Ok. To present the first away tonight is a performer who has thrilled his audiences for years and will continue to do so for many to come. Please welcome that big purple ball of blubber. Tinky Winky!!!

Crowed: *claps and cheers*

Tonky Winkie: *walks no stage* Hello everyone! How are we all tonight?

Crowd: *confused*

Random Person: Tinky Winky doesn't sound like that!

Tinky Winky: Look, I'm just a big purple actor that plays and annoying ball of flub in the show. I'm not really like that, OK? I do have a life outside the Teletubbies you know.

Crowd: *blink blink*

Cricket: Chirp chirp

Tonky Winkie: Fine…*sigh* Eh-oh!

Crowd: *yelling and cheering*

Tinkey Winky: The nominees for the 'Totally Irrelevant Soap Opera That Takes It's Actors From Other Worlds And Puts Them In Situation That Wouldn't Happen In Their World In Which They Act Totally Out Of Character' are 'The Bold, the Beautiful and The Ring'. 'Daytime Soapies.' And 'Home & Away At Discworld.' 

Big Screen: *showing clips from each Soapie*

***

Fordo: We must get the ring back before Legolas uses it to propose to Aragon! He will not be able to refuse if the Ring uses its power on him! 

Sam: Yes master Frodo, but what about your wedding? You can't miss that!

Frodo: I don't care! The fate of the world hangs in the balance. *Runs out of room*

***

Person in Yellow: *enters sinisterly* Hello. Briar, I believe you have something we want. May we please have it?  
  
Briar: *getting a little bit scared and backing away* Never! You cannot have my note.  
  
PIY (Person in Yellow): Fine I will have to take you in to...  
  
PIP:...Duh duh duh...  
  
PIY: ...The room!

***

Rincewind: I have to get to the beach! I must warn everyone of the runaway space probe coming to crash right on their head! *Run out*

Commander Vimes: He wont get far…*pick up the phone and dial 000* Hello. Yes this is an emergency. A mad man is running to the beach with his clothes full of explosives; yes he's just on the road. They will only explode if he reaches the beach. You'll pick him up straight away? Thank you very much. *Hand up phone* Mwahahahahahah!

***

Tinky Winky: And the winner is-

Random Person: Ahem.

Tinky Winky: *sigh* Big hug to winner…'Daytime Soapies'! *Storms of stage and throw trophy at Evilstrawberry who is coming up on stage to collect it*

Evilstrawberry: *looks at trophy with tears in eyes* I don't know what to say…I want to thank my Mummy and Daddy for dropping my on my head when I was little, and the nice people in white coats for letting my stay in that padded room and giving me all those pills and I'd like to thank all the actors who acted of their _own free will_ in my soap opera. Why don't you all come up here?

All People From Daytime Soapies: *walk onto stage and drone in time with each other* We liked working For Miss Strawberry. She was good to us and she didn't feed us hypnotic drugs of any kind. We worked of our own free will. 

Evilstrawberry: *big grin* Kel, would you like to say a few words?

Kel: *droning voice* Yes. Thanks you. I am very proud that we won this award and we are not all on extra super hypnotic drugs for tonight to make sure we don't tell anyone anything at all. No, we are all acting exactly normal. *Eyes flicker* What? Oh my god! I'm free! It wore off! Yes! *Sees Evilstrawberry* Stay away from me! I refuse to take anymore of you hypnotic thingys! *Grabs award and waves it like a weapon*

Evilstrawberry: *fixed smile* He he he. You are so funny Kel. Now why don't you just hop of the stage?

Cleon: *blinking eyes* The…the drugs wore off? We're free? YES! In your face Miss. Strawberry!

All The Rest: *waking up* 

Joren: *advancing on Evilstrawberry* You made me into a sissy! 

Lalasa: *deliriously happy* Everyone, I'm free! Look-*pulls pillow from under her clothes* I wasn't pregnant! Every wondered why I didn't give birth in the show? They were to cheep to get a baby to play the baby! Ha ha! *Twirls around in circles* It was so annoying having people come up to me and ask me when I was due…

Neal: *taking a microphone and addressing the crowd* I would like to point out that I do _not_ like wearing womens undies. The draw full of them in my room is for…academic proposes only. Got it?

Evilstrawberry: These guys are so funny, gets joke guys! *Worried* 

Joren: I am going to _hurt_ you…

Evilstrawberry: Hehehe, this is really _funny_.

Joren: Look into to my eyes and tell me I'm joking. You made _me_ be with The _Lump_!

Evilstrawberry: Umm…the Readers! Yeah, the readers made me do it! I didn't want to and they forced me!

Cleon: And me liking Joren?

Evilstrawberry: All the readers fault. You can even look at their reviews. See, not my fault at all. 

Jon: As king I suggest we go and _talk_ to these readers. And we take Evilstrawberry for a little talk too. 

Joren: *twitch* Yes, talk…

All: *storm out door*

Disembodied Voice: I thought I had gotten away from them!  They are everywhere! Everywhere! I can't escape! *High pitched screaming*

Cut to a picture of all the Characters planing.

Kel: So these readers, they would be reading this right now right? And everything we are doing is writing it self on this script right here *waves around papers* And that is what they are reading?

Liam: It seems so. Hmm…so if we just-

Evilstrawberry: *cuts him off with a scream* Noooooo! I'll promise never to go near you ever again if you'd only let me go! Please!

Joren: No way.

Rodger: Not a chance, this is too much fun…

Rosethorn: Lucky no one drinks out of this well huh? Or they'd be drinking some pretty strange things for a while. Who knew two little mice could make a nest in someone's hair so quickly. Ok Alanna, start singing again.

Evilstrawberry: *high pitched scream*

Liam: As I was saying, if we just wrote that we- *whisper whisper whisper*

Jon: That could work…lets do it.

Kel: *picks up pencil and writes something at bottom of the script*

Joren: *snatches script and pencil and write something of his own*

A vortex suddenly formes in the middle of the group. It leads to another world. One in which people are sitting in front of computers and reading this. All the characters jump through. Joren looks up just before he jumps through the vortex and says "Keep looking aver your shoulders, we'll be coming for you _real soon…_" He smirks and jumps through the vortex.

Alanna: *is in the vortex tumbling around* Just out of curiosity, does anyone know who these readers are? No? Well where are we going exactly then?

Kel: Ummm…I don't really know…

Alanna: Oh, well right then.

All: *tumble out in the middle of now where*

Jon: I think maybe we should have thought this through a bit more…

Evilstrawberry: I escaped! Mwahahahahahah! You are all trapped here forever!!

Joren: Bugger…

The End 

**Authors Note: That was…weird…and pointless and didn't make sense…like most of my writing! *Grin* Anyway, I won't leave them there forever. Just a few days, then they will be returned to their homes with all their memories wiped, OK? Feel free to pop over to 'The Middle of Nowhere.' And _play_ with them. Well this is truly the end. Really. Wow, what'll I do in my spare time now? I wasn't even going to write this so soon except it's the holidays and I had nothing to do. I guess I could start some of my school assignments that are due soon…or I could sleep…. hmmm…**

**Thank you sooooooooooo much for reading and please review!!! **

**Good Luck and Good Bye,**

**Evilstrawberry**


End file.
